Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
