I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
