Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
as a side note pls kill me
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