Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
