The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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