As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
