I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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