I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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