My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
