pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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