I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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