Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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