I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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