There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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