love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
