made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
