I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
