your thong is hanging out like whoa
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
