i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
