Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
well you can't waste a boner
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
sarcasm needs its own font
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
