is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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