think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
my poor anus
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
