24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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