the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
