We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
