Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I can text with my tongue
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
