Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Someone came in the potted fern
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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