Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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