I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
