batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
