we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So many bounce houses so little time
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
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