I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
