SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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