TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
