Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
