You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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