i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
