I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
