no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
