well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
