i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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