hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
