My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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