So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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