My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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