she was so not down for the gang bang
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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