Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
