Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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