i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
