she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
