I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
