She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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